thatfunnyblog:

You know what’s creepy about Humpty Dumpty?

They never said he was an egg.

(Source: twerkingtargaryens, via dani-cub)

pixzieh:

☆ calling all pixies ☽

— Love outside Andromeda

lesbian-en-skate:

$

Tonight dad said “Next time I’m going to marinade it.”
I waited a few seconds, then looked at him and said “Marinate?”
He looked like he had just realised he was wearing no clothes.

I HAVE BEEN WAITING TWENTY SIX YEARS TO BE ABLE CORRECT MY DAD LINGUISTICALLY.